31 Flavors of Abuse

Mom (to Grandma): "We took the boys to Baskin Robbins. The blue ice cream was a huge hit."
Grant (in the background): "It was a HUGE hit. It was a HUGE hit. It was HUGE hit... "
Grant: "I don't want a huge hit."
Mom: "Grant, a 'huge hit' means you really like it."
Grant: "I don't know what means a 'huge hit."
Mom: "It means you like something a lot."
Grant: "I don't want a huge hit!"

One Well Behaved Grandma

The Crunchers have entered into the realm of hairdressing this week, thanks to Grandma and her curlers. It's not child's play, either, it's serious work.
After she endured them taking most of the curlers out, she was rewarded by a generous (and much deserved) compliment.

Grant: "You're being really good, Grandma. (pause, pause...) you're being really GOOD!"

Yep - he used his positive reinforcement techniques to get Grandma to comply. Those words have gotten us through many haircuts. Unfortunately, I guess she wasn't QUITE good enough to get "a big, special treat." There's always tomorrow.

Grandpa Saves the Day

Grandma and Grandpa are here to visit for a week. On their first night in town Sue and my mom went out for a "quick" trip to the store. Bryn gave my dad and I about 20 minutes before vocally and insistently expressing her preference for her mama. Just at that moment the boys produced a crisis that required my undivided attention and which doesn't merit further mention. Grandpa did his best and by the time the boys' situation was resolved, Bryn was sleeping peacefully, if only briefly, in his arms.

The Plumber

...or, How I Saved $300 in Less Than 3 Hours. ...and got a 26¢ tip for my efforts.

Hot Hands

With the arrival of fall weather we have been using our wood burning stove quite a lot. Few things can capture the boys' attention like saying, "Let's go check on the fire." That has its downside. They have gotten increasingly confident around the stove, even when it is hot. This morning, I went out into the garage to get a couple of logs to add to the fire and Grant got a brilliant idea. He has seen Mom and I putting on hot pad mittens to remove hot items from the oven. He found a mitten and touched the glass front of the very hot stove. Fortunately, there were two layers of synthetic fiber fabric and only the outer layer melted off before he removed his hand from the stove. Here's what's left of the mitten. Here's what was left behind on the glass. It doesn't take much imagination to see a small hand print. Many thanks to all of you who have prayed for our boys' safety. Grant's guardian angel was definitely on duty this morning.

Aftermath

Grant's naptime exploit has left its mark. And now, to cleanse your visual palette, Bryn:

A Word to the Wise

This is a "mini" (a.k.a. ridiculously small, useless car.)

This is our behemoth. (a.k.a. SUV, family wagon, "rig" (for those in ID and UT) and other useful names.)It's also good for fuzzy kitties to climb on.
If any of our faithful readers out there think a mini might be a fun, peppy car to waste your money on, I hope I can help before it's too late. Please consider the following discovery I made after just barely backing into one in a parking lot today: (and yes, I am a car bigot, and tend to class peoples' personalities by the cars they drive - just certain cars. Let the record show I was 100% accurate on this one before the driver even opened her big mouth.)

1. You will be impossible for any car of substance to see (especially if you insist on riding someone's tail.) Most cars could run right over the top of you, and not even know it (or think they hit a small rodent.) Which brings me to the second warning:

2. You will be become "one of them." (egocentric, Obama lovin' 'great and spacious building' type of victimized pip squeak.) So not only should you avoid buying one of these remote control toys, but you should avoid any encounter altogether with anyone so proud of their car.

3. If you're ever going to get into a fender bender, PRAY (or not, because you'll probably be godless at this point - see #2) someone hits you, because you wouldn't be able to afford to get it fixed - only pure gold could cost more than the plastic these things are made of.

So naturally, our car doesn't even have a scratch, and none of our little crunchers were even aware of anything. And they were safe inside our mammoth of a car, unable to hear the string of ugly profanities pouring out of this pathetic and shrill excuse for a woman. My only regret is that I couldn't go into some post partum breakdown, and gain control of the situation by becoming the victim myself. I just don't think quickly on my feet. However, my mere mention of 3 kids under 3 in the car stopped her cell call for a policeman as she was dialing. So she wasn't entirely irrational. I talked her into just exchanging info.

I'm just grateful I had three beautiful children in the car to remind me what truly matters in this life. There are many miserable people out there forever searching, and always coming up empty.

Things That Go Bump in the Dark

He was supposed to be napping but a bump and a cry brought Mom to the rescue. What she found was a boy with a black eye. The boy's explanation? I think he's pleading the fifth since the rules of naptime clearly state that the floor is poison and the boys are not to leave the safety of their beds. Maybe now he'll believe us about the floor.

Then again, he's awfully proud of that bruise.

The Incredible Mom

Here's my mom holding Brynie:
Here's my mom cleaning out our garden:
Here are two completely occupied and happy boys, outside with my mom:
Here's my mom raking up all the leaves: (and they were not a few - 7 lrg yard bags full.)
And here's my mom teaching the boys how to work:
Moooooooom!!! Come baaaaaack!!!

Pretty in Pink

Our house has become a riot of pink in the last week. Here is the culprit who's behind the disturbance. Ain't she cute?

Swift to do Iniquity

The boys love this story about how Nephi's brothers were trying to hurt him, but because he was obedient - he had power from God, and said, "Touch me not..." They also like the song "Swift To Do Iniquity" from the Nephi Show, which has a powerful ending stating, "Touch me not, in His Almighty Name!"

So a couple nights ago, Evan happened to open the door of two boys who were supposed to be going to sleep, and caught Cole red handed, turning the light on. As he ran back to bed, Pop gave him a quick swat on the behind, to which Cole replied, (you guessed it) "Touch me not!"

He's got the right verbage down - now he just needs to work on the obedience.

Love at First Breath

One of the things I LOVE about Evan is that he is a free spirit; not afraid to take chances, he does not fear being reprimanded, and ultimately we end up with the fruit of his labors. Even though we had heard that recording or taking pics of a c-section might not be allowed, he decided to go ahead unless someone told him to stop. (And it also helps that he's tall enough to reach over the huge drape they put up to prevent viewing.) But they were all too busy to notice, so here you go! We think it's fascinating to watch our little Bryn take her first breath. This is not for the faint of heart, but we've had several friends and family express an interest in seeing it, and this is the best way to publish it.

Anatomy

Due to some skepticism expressed by a commenter on our pronunciation guide we have answered Miss Banana's request for an example use of the word "sock-o-wiss". Now, I don't know what they're teaching kids at BYU these days but I'm sure basic anatomy still holds a place in the curriculum. Please report to the Widtsoe building or the Bean Museum if you doubt Grant's grasp of the subject. He can also discourse at length about the difference between a lemur and a dung beetle.

Welcome Home

It is my pleasure to officially introduce our newborn daughter Bryn Reagan to the blogging world. She is named after a Welsh bass-baritone and a former president. Bryn is a great nurser and seems to think that she is hungry whenever she is awake, and even sometimes when she's not quite awake. She has Grant's cheeks, and Cole's toes (fat and long, respectively). She has lots of dark hair which Sue hopes won't fall out. Evan isn't so optimistic since infant baldness is practically a family heritage. Bryn starts with a shrill cry that is higher pitched than most other babies I've known. Once she gets going she brings in the lower registers as well and isn't afraid to make her opinions known. A phantom dimple has been spotted on her left cheek (by a nurse and a grandma) but those reports are unconfirmed by impartial observers.

Baby's Big Day

7:01 AM: Our day began rather earlier than baby's. We paused on the way out the door for one last belly shot. 7:20 AM: Of course, there's always time for more belly shots at the hospital. 8:05 AM: Now we're all prepped and ready for the real work to begin. Prepping for daddies involves dressing like the Sta-Puft marshmallow man. 8:27 AM: Baby's first photo. Clean up in OR-3! Who has the squeegee and the shop-vac? 8:31 AM: That's a little better. 8:33 AM: Her first picture with Mom and Dad. At this point, Ma's innards were still strewn across the table on the other side of that tent. 8:36 AM: The big weigh in. A petite 7 pounds 10 ounces. 8:45 AM: In which she learns that the world is not only cold and bright, sometimes it jabs needles into your leg. 9:04 AM: Safely in the recovery room we pause for another photo. 9:08 AM: Now add Dad to the scene. 10:57 AM: Grandma shows up just in time. 12:13 PM: The first photo with the brand new big brothers. 12:14 PM: A kiss from Cole. What more could a girl want? 12:20 PM: Bryn and her adoring fans. 1:32 PM: Alex and Carol are her first official non-family visitors. 2:55 PM: Dale and Ramona round out our visitors. 7:11 PM: The boys are taking their jobs as big brothers very seriously. Here Grant begins to teach her how to count to 10. 7:15 PM: Speaking of 10, Cole inspects her "toesies". 11:50 PM: Overall it was a magical day. Everything went so smoothly and our baby girl is just perfect. She's nursing very well, she's opinionated and cuddly, the boys find her fascinating. Welcome to the family little crunchette!

She's Here!

Baby girl
Born at 8:27 AM
7 pounds 10 oz
20.5 inches

Mother and baby are doing wonderfully!

Crunch O'Lanterns

We neglected to share the pictures of our jack o'lanterns. The boys had a good time helping to remove the innards and even poke some holes in their pumpkins. Yup, all cleaned out. And the obligatory candle-lit shot.

Sinking Songs

If you feel like hiding from the world now that the elections are over, you'll have some good company.

And the music isn't half bad either.

Back on the Small Screen

During our trip to Arizona and Idaho last summer our video camera went kaput. Recently we got a new one and here is a first taste of what the Crunchers have in store for your viewing pleasure. Yup. They still got it. More to come...

Cruncher Pronunciation Guide

With the imminent arrival of the newest cruncher, we are expecting visits (hint hint) from various and sundry relatives, friends, and other well wishers. We ask that you not ignore the boys while ogling the baby. In the interest of fostering communication with them, here are some words that you might hear and how the boys pronounce them:

What They Mean		How They Say It
button		bung'-ah
belly button		bung'-eeng-ah
spaghetti		ka-bet'ty
harmonica		duh'-dit-duh
elephant		ef'a-fant
medicine		mess'i-sin
vitamin		my'na-min
hamburger		hangummer
bathroom		baff womb
earth		urrf
esophagus		sock-o-wiss
screwdriver		too diver
rocking chair		wokking tare
elevator		elligator
I want...		ah-awn..

And here, to help with the meanings of some longer phrases:

When Grant wants to say, "Cole is destroying something, you better stop him now!" he will ask innocently, "What Cole doing?"

When they want to say, "Dearest brother, please return my special toy, lest I smite you upon your head." they will state forcefully, "MINE!"

When they want to say, "Don't hit me back, even though I just smacked you with a 2x4." they will state emphatically and without a shred of self consciousness, "We do not hit."

When they want to say, "I'm not ready for bed yet. Please let me stay up for another 10 minutes." they will claim, "I need go poo poo."

When they want ought to say, "I heard you, mother dear, and I'll respond to your request immediately." they will suddenly become a deaf mute until you reach "two" on the ominous three count.

When they want to say, "I need a hug and kiss so I can go to sleep in peace." they will say, "I cuddle you."