Resolving A Stony Situation

Yesterday I had surgery to remove the kidney stone that I have been feeling since Thanksgiving. The simulated picture of it that I provided at the time was an accurate representation of its size. However, based on the urologist's description of it before he lasered it into bits, its shape more closely resembled our old friend xanthium strumarium, commonly known as the cockleburr. Anyway, I am recovering well, grateful that I have a wonderful wife to take care of me and two sweet boys who make me smile even as they cause a little extra pain when they "hop on pop".

Dear Crunchers: The Advice Column

Dear Crunchers,
I'm sure you hear this all the time, but you're just so handsome and I wondered if it's all natural, or if you could share a few of your "beauty secrets."
Thanks,
"Looking for Looks"

Dear "Looking for looks,"
Look, if someone tells you good looks are all natural, that's just a bunch of bonk. (bunk?) Anyway, it's real simple if you just follow a few of our tips.

1. Use soap. By the way, bath time should be the longest and most energizing part of the day. Don't rush through it.
2. Brush daily. Sometimes we're even tempted to skip this part, but just get through it the best you can.
3. Chocolate is actually good for your complexion, especially if applied topically.
Just look at my skin! It's never been so clear. Don't buy into all that anti-chocolate jibber jabber.
4. Sometimes you need a little extra pizazz for special occasions. For style that lasts all day, diaper rash ointment (stay with us, here) actually makes a great pomade.
Go ahead, just rub it in there where you need a little lift.
Or try the "Alfalfa" look to mix things up. This is a classic, trust us.

Well, that should get you some "looks." But we can't give away all our secrets!

Here's looking at you,
The Crunchers

Help! We're Sinking!

Well, now that we got all that new Christmas stuff out of the way, let's get back to what Crumb Crunchers really want to do. (And don't be fooled, it may look like washing dishes, but no, no, no. This is a new sport which shall hereafter be called "sinking", that is, playing in the sink. There's really no toy quite like water. It just does so much - especially when you add a few kitchen utensils and some cups. And for extra fun, try a medicine dropper. Mom: "Grant, don't throw water on the floor."
Grant: "Pffff. No! No!"
And if you run out of things to put in the water, try putting your whole body in it. On second thought, that sort of just seems like a bath.

Christmas!!!!

We'll start with Christmas Eve (the actual Eve this time).
And now for Christmas morning!
Finally, we see what happens when toddlers try Pop-Rocks for the first time:

Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve

One of the Christmas traditions from Ma's family that I heartily embraced was the way they open presents before Christmas Day. In my family we were allowed to open a single present on Christmas Eve and woe be to the child who neglected their reconnaissance and chose unwisely. While their siblings were happily playing with some wonderful new toy, they were left holding a pair of socks or something equally horrible. In Ma's family, wrapped presents are opened on Christmas Eve and Santa basically just fills stockings during his midnight visits. At least, that's what they claim. In reality it works slightly different than that. When Ma and I were engaged I witnessed a Christmas present being opened and used on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Ma firmly believes that presents that are mailed should be opened within 24 hours of their arrival at our home. The result is this scene which occurred Friday night after packages arrived from three family members. The best part is, we've still got a couple more "Christmas Eves" to go!

'Twere the Lights Before Christmas

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the zoo, the fishies were swimming, and the boys wanted to. And both of the boys wearing toques and warm jackets, were settling down to see snakes, apes, and parrots.
	When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Cole ran to the lights to see what was the matter.
The monkeys and hippos weren't making much noise, but oohs and some aahs were coming from boys.
	When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a giant bull elephant with small Asian ears.
His bones how they sparkled, his tusks: large and pointy, Cole stood in the stroller and yelled, "ELEPHANTY!"
	'Twas frigid that night but the cure for cold fingers, is to wrap them in daddy's while everyone lingers.
And I heard Grant say as we walked to the car, "If I had a pet croc then I'm sure I'd go far."

Box Boy

My mother (from NE AZ) referred in her comment to a photo of a boy in a box. I have procured said photo and I now present it for your viewing pleasure. This is scanned in from my "baby book" (apparently an early form of blogging) with my mom's handwritten explanation and festive geometric cropping (now that's what I call a cut and paste). Now you see where my boys get their rugged good looks and keen powers of deduction.

For Sale: One Boy

Description: Stands in drawers. May be a plumber. Claims to know how to make alfredo sauce, but tends to scald the cream and overdoes the nutmeg. Cost: Priceless, OBO

Monogram Me

I've always thought the whole monogrammed apparel thing was a bit ridiculous. Unless you just LOVE your initials...no, it just doesn't make sense. Unless, of course, you're giving it as a gift, and then I suppose the receiver could feel somewhat flattered. But again, what's the point? Well, after all that, I think I know the perfect Christmas gift for Cole.



Cole is, after all, sort of "high society." He reaches for his robe (Grandma made him) first thing whenever I get him out of the tub. He likes to relax for awhile before getting dressed, sip some milk, admire the Christmas decor, etc. Well, who knew just how important his robe time was. On this particular morning, we had commitments, and I tried to go directly from bath to clothes. Here - see if you can tell how that went over:
You can see his clothes, there, on the floor. He hates his clothes. Robe! Robe!
I don't think he cried that hard when he touched my hot flat iron. So, after aggravating the situation further by taking pictures, I put his robe on and all was well. To anyone who loves to spend time in their robe like this boy, a monogrammed robe is just the thing.

Since deciding to post during the Crunchers' awake time, only minimum damages were reported: flour everywhere and a few Christmas decorations thrown off the piano. Since there was no broken glass, there were no time-outs. We just called it an even trade for allowing me a little blog time.

Michelangelo Results

Grant might be Michelangelo but people who left comments are more like Homer, the Greek epic poet, that is, they're blind and like to make stuff up. So, here again is the sculpture in question:

And here are the guesses:

	Cheeto
	Cutie Peel
	Seahorse
	Embryonic Kangaroo
	Bear
	Grub/Worm
	Slug
	Snake
	Kitty

And the winner is...

Congratulations to Dalynn.